Quote for the day

You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing.
~Marie Stopes

Why Do I Care?

So I'm trying not to waste so much time on celebrity gossip and then Britney Spears goes and gets herself pregnant again! The rumors have been circulating for months and now her rep finally confirms it. Why do I get such excitement and satisfaction out of it? I don't know her! I've never met her! I don't even like her music!!!

Updated Links

So many blogs! So little time! I love staying connected with people thru our blogs. I love hearing their hearts. I love the creativity of it. I love encouraging others by sharing comments and I love when others encourage me. Of course it can't replace real, personal face to face relationships but I do think it can enhance them.

Between blogging and myspace this type of cyber interaction is becoming more and more common. I think there are pros and cons. We probably won't fully understand the effect it has on society, relationships and communication for years to come.

I've decided to dedicate more of my time to these personal and artistic interactions than reading about the latest drama with TomKat or Brangelina. If you don't know those names, don't worry, you're not missing a thing. I'm not saying I won't pick up a People magazine every now and then.....o.k even US Weekly or even that it's wrong to do so. I just want to have my priorities straight. Celebrity gossip should be an occasional veg out activity or something and not an every day thing for me personally. It's a personal decision and maybe not for everyone.

As for the new links to:

I love the hilarious and moving stories about "tnbloggingmama" and "peach" 's children, marriage, southern living, Christian walk etc.

I love the creative, passionate, poetic, dreamy, thought provoking Ceen_Marie, Megan,Thema and Larry.

I'm pumped that my pastor Aaron Burgess has entered the mix. He is such a talented writer and speaker. God uses him in a powerful way and in a way that is relevant to my life.

My hubby doesn't get as personal on his blog (yet). He likes to discuss theology and such. He likes to tackle tough questions, issues, discrepancies about our faith. There is a sweet, hilarious video of him playing the drums, sorta, kinda. He is an amazing man and I can't believe I have the honor of being his wife and best friend.

I know everyone's time is precious. It means a lot to me that you stop by my blog and read my thoughts. If you have time...these folks are worth checking out.

My Heart Will Choose to Say, Lord Blessed Be Your Name

Sorry for the lack of updates. Busyness is stressing me this month. I hardly even had time to watch tv this week and read my friends blogs this week and I need that stuff to unwind and connect etc. We've had lots of family get togethers for birthdays,which are wonderful and fun,but drain the introvert in me. Lots of other little miscellaneous things have kept me busy.

These verses were shared at the women's retreat, yes the same retreat I've been talking about for a month LOL.
I'm sure I've heard it before but I heard it with "new ears" this time.

Micah 7:7-9
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior. My God will hear me. Do not gloat over me , my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord's wrath until He pleads my case and establishes my right. He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness.

This busy month is threatening my joy and my peace of mind. I am trying so hard to cling to the Lord and I'm pleading with Him to keep me from sliding into the pit of depression. I know that if He rescues me this time or even if He does not I will still praise Him because He has been so incredibly good to me. I am so blessed even when I'm in the depths of despair I can always recognize that fact. If I must go there I will go and I will live thru it and I will grow.

Pray that I will avoid stress and get plenty of sleep and be inspired to exercise. These things are a tremendous help. Of course God is the biggest help of all, all good things come from Him. I need to hear His voice and then follow His lead.

Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Quote for the day

But we do, if we are depending on God, move closer to completion, closer to that beautiful picture he wants to paint in the world through us.
~Emilie Barnes

Why I Got so Mad!

In my last post I mentioned a skit at the women's retreat that inspired me and infuriated me. Here's the details:

The actress came down the aisle carrying lots of baggage. Yeah, like we all do except hers was literal baggage...with labels such as control, pride and the big rolling beast of a suitcase labeled "not good enough". Yep just like my baggage-only not invisible. I could add a few more bags to the list. Sometimes I'm completely buried in it and I almost smother to death....but I'm getting off subject. I'll save that for another post, another day. Basically baggage sucks, but you knew that.

So the actress started lamenting out loud to God about her baggage and how it's weighing her down. Amazingly God was backstage with a microphone and began to reply. Actually it was Randy the bass player which totally distracted me because I was snickering to my sister "that's not God it's RANDY!!", like she didn't know. "God" responded and told her to "lay it down."

She started with "control". She cried "but I need control, control makes me feel safe!" I don't know about you, but that hits the nail on the head for me.

"Lay it down" "God" said and so she did. She went through the other smaller bags and laid them down while conversing with "God" and finally came to "not good enough". She talked about the negative messages she received growing up with an alcoholic father and her serious self worth issues.

Before she laid it down she opened up the suitcase and pulled out two bottles of liquor. She confessed that she's used the liquor to numb her pain. Yep... me too..... I'm with ya....done that...what else is in that suitcase? And then she pulled out PRESCRIPTION BOTTLES OF PILLS!!!! She confessed that she had turned to these pills when she needed to be up or down. Ummm excuse me!? Are you saying that pills are a copout and if I just trusted Jesus enough or had enough faith I would not be bi-polar!? Are you actually serious?

I have heard this entirely too often in the church (meaning the big overall body of Christ including all Christians, not necessarily my home church). It's ignorant and dangerous. Mental illness is as much a medical problem as diabetes or breaking your arm. Nobody judges you for taking insulin or wearing a cast but if you take psychiatric medicine you're a "bad Christian". Depression is so common that there had to be several women in that audience that are suffering or have suffered from depression in the past. Maybe they finally worked up the nerve to get the help they need.....and after hearing her speak they will go home, throw their pills away and after the "mountain top high" from the retreat wears off they could fall so deeply into the depths that they commit suicide. I know that's extreme but I truly feel the ignorance and judgment is THAT dangerous!

C'mon Christians! Just because it hasn't happened to you, just because you can't see it is no reason to remain ignorant and judgmental. The evidence says that mental illness is real and terrible. If someone you love is suffering in this way they need your total support and love. Choose truth!

Quote for the day

From my friend and pastor Aaron Burgess who has begun a blog of his own. He works for Pregnancy Care of Cincinnati and speaks at schools about sex, love and marriage. Here's what he tells the ladies:

I give them one piece of advice about knowing when they are ready to sleep with a guy they are dating. When he reserves a church, invites his family and your family and takes a vow in front of 400+ people to be committed to you for life. He then takes you to a romantic hotel or on a nice trip somewhere and then you know its time. That's so much better than in the back seat of his car after prom or at a sleazy Motel 6 because he's in high school and can't afford anything else.

I sure wish someone would've told me that back in the day. Then again I probably wouldn't have listened. I definitely believe that waiting til your wedding night is the best way. It would be so romantic and powerful and safe and right!

A Day of Refreshing

On Saturday, March 25th I attended a women's ministry event entitled "A Day of Refreshing". I signed up to go because I've always enjoyed women's ministry events in the past but I didn't have any expectations for the day except maybe for something to blog about. There was certainly lots to blog about and I will do so over the next week or so.

I came with my heart numb and broken. My relationship with God was in shambles as I felt betrayed by Him and unable to trust Him for going on 2 years. Little did I know that God had arranged for several divine appointments that day that would heal my heart and lead me back into his loving arms. Just like in the story of the prodigal son, He was waiting for me and ran to me and took me in His arms and forgave me and celebrated me.

We started with breakfast, music, a skit that thoroughly moved me and then climaxed by pissing me off, a speaker and then a 10 minute break to go potty, stretch, get a drink etc. During the break we were instructed to hug 5 strangers. I sat in my seat and toyed with the idea. I didn't really care one way or another and I hadn't decided whether I was going to obey or not. Then a sweet older lady came up and asked for a hug and I reciprocated. She was teary eyed and told me how she's been really depressed and her friend invited her to church the last week and she really felt at home there. That was a nice,easy, safe conversation. 1 hug down.

My sister came back from the bathroom and together we tag teamed 3 other women for hugs. 4 hugs down.. one to go....do I want to go there... haven't I done enough? A pleasant looking black woman in the back pew caught my eye. I approached her and said "Can I get a hug?"

With a big smile she joyfully said "Of course!"

I leaned in for my hug and said "That makes 5" and then I moved to pull away but she held on tight. I sort of tensed up and thought "now what?"

and then she started to pray over me....a simple prayer......"Bless her Father, oh bless her, Bless her Jesus, thank you Jesus." She held on for a little longer. By then I was fully committed to the hug. She was large and warm and smelled good and wanted to love on me and I let her even though I had nothing to give her in return.

It touched me, not to the point of tears because my heart was still hard but it was softening. That was just the beginning of an amazing day where God restored the joy of my salvation. I do know that God answered her prayer.

Quote for the Day

"People who deserve credit don't require it. People who lust for credit don't deserve it"
- Rev. Jesse Jackson speaking of Civil Rights Activist Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth