Night Terrors

Last night, or rather early this morning around 3AM-ish. My husband Jason started screaming. Screaming is not even the right word. How do I describe this? He was in a state of utter panic. Horrified terror or terrified horror are some other words I could use to describe it. He was sitting up screaming and pointing at some invisible person/monster in the room. The way he was reacting you would've thought there was a three headed monster in the room that just ripped my body in two and bit my head off. I swear to you, I am not exaggerating!!

I had to call his name several times and shake him awake before he would stop. By this time my heart is racing and I'm feeling a little bit panicky myself from the shock of being woken up this way. My first thought was that someone else WAS in the room. One of my biggest fears is to have someone break into my house while I'm there. Once I peeked in the direction he was pointing and knew all was well and got him calmed down MY heart felt like it was going to thump right out of my chest. Even though I knew there was nothing to be afraid of I couldn't shake the fear. By this time Jason was already snoring again!

I found his swift return to restful sleep without me unacceptable and a bit of a betrayal! I snuggled up next to him until I could calm down.

The craziest thing is that this is the second time he's done this!! I guess the first time was around a month or so ago. The first time he didn't remember anything about it. This time he vaguely remembered it and cracked up like it was the most hilarious thing ever! It kinda is, but it sucks at 3AM-ish!

He thinks these night time attacks are called "night terrors". I'm going to have to google that and see what we can figure out. If there's a pill... he's taking it. If he can't eat cheese after midnight.... so be it. This reign of terror must end.

Do you believe?

A little girl came up to my desk today and asked me if I believed in fairies. Um....No I don't.

She shot back that she has a book that will prove me wrong! "So HA!" she said.
She claims to own a book that gives evidence of their existence including a "fairy wing" and "fairy dust". She also informed me that her aunt has a "fairy ring" in her backyard. What is a fairy ring you ask? It's a ring in the grass and if you step in it you get good luck. She's going to bring the book in to prove it to me.

What do I say then? Do I lie and encourage her to keep the faith? Are fairies granted the same protected status as Santa and the Easter Bunny? We let kids believe in the Tooth Fairy so isn't it somewhat reasonable for her to logically deduce that other fairies exist as well? Is it o.k to lie to children about these things? I'm leaning towards the lie. I'm weak like that. I don't want to be a dream crusher. sigh...

when i'm old

I was challenged recently to make a list of 7 things I want to do before I die. This proved a bigger challenge than I expected. It's probably not a bad idea to make such a list. Maybe it's just my personality or something wrong with me, but I couldn't come up with much. I'm kind of a surviving day to day person. Should I go "sky diving and rocky mountain climbing"?

Anyway, I did have some thoughts today about things I'd like to do when/if I get old.

I hope they still have those purple dress/red hat old lady clubs. It sounds really fun! I will draw the line at wearing one of the purple mumus with red hats printed all over it. I don't care how comfortable they are.

I'd also like to star in the remake of "Sister Act" someday. The kids at work have seen it at least 99 times. Sometimes they watch it twice in one day. I feel pretty confidant that I know every voice part for every song. It's so cemented in my brain I feel like it will never leave. I don't need a lead role. I just want to sing in the nun choir.

Other than those two things, I'm kind of up in the air about what to do with my life. The thing I hope for the most is that my sweet husband is there with me til my dying day. Seriously, if we could be taken out together at the same time that would be ideal. I can't imagine life without him.

True Story

At work my desk phone is the public phone for all the kids. They use it to call their parents, their parents call them. They sneak in calls to friends and friends call them. I don't mind as long as they make it quick. We do have actual business to conduct over the phone from time to time although sometimes I feel like the personal secretary of 70 kids.
You know how 20/20 or some other such news show is always doing shows where they test for germs on things like hotel bedspreads, shopping cart handles, office keyboards, random guys toothbrush etc. I would be scared to know what they would find on my phone.
I have sanitzing wipes but there are not enough wipes in the world to protect me from this peril. There is a different kid on the phone every 5 minutes. I try to wipe it down once or twice daily.
I know kids come straight from the bathroom to use my phone with no hand washing in between. If you're walking out the door as the toilet is flushing, I'm betting there was no washing.
Several times I've seen kids cough directly into the phone. Sneezing is not as common but it does happen.
Sweaty teenagers come in from the gym (not airconditioned in the summer) and sweat all over my phone. I don't always notice until I go to answer the phone after them. It is so gross to answer the phone and touch their sweat to my ear. I'm seriously ill just thinking about it.
O.K. so today there was a first. A child LICKED the phone! A little 7 year old, sweet as can be,but---He put his TONGUE on the mouthpiece! What can I do but wipe the phone off and pass it on to the next caller/victim? Gotta love the immune system!

New Years Resolutions

I have a horrible track record of making and keeping New Years Resolutions. I gave up the practice a few years ago. I'm thinking about making a few this year. I will try to keep it simple to avoid a huge letdown should I fail, again. This probably isn't the best attitude going in.

I resolve to blog more often. There is a constant blogging dialogue going on in my head. I just never get around to publishing it. I have many theories as to why this is, but nothing concrete. I know I need to be less of a perfectionist and be unafraid to publish my random thoughts. I need to stop worrying about whether anyone will be amused, intrigued, inspired or entertained and just embrace putting myself out there. I know, I know, it's just a blog. Probably about 3 people read it. I think way too serious and way too much.

I also resolve to learn how to put links in my blogs. I need to link to my friends blogs and friends of friends blogs that I stalk (Scott told me I'm a stalker if I read the blogs but never comment.). I'm comfortable with my stalker status.

The most important and serious resolution I'm making is to spend more time reading my Bible and in prayer. I need a serious fire lit underneath me in this area. I have prayed so many times for God to give me a hunger and a thirst for His word to no avail. I know I need to be obedient and follow through on this resolution to see results.

From the time my mother became a Christian she has been like a woman consumed. I am jealous of her zeal. She reads the Bible on a regular basis, listens to sermons on the radio and t.v. She joins every Bible Study that her schedule allows and reads a couple of other Christian books for good measure. I'm not sure I want to be that extreme, especially considering some of the t.v. preachers. I must note she does all of this out of a hunger for knowing more about God and consumes these resources with great joy and wise discernment.

My husband also devotes himself to studying the Bible and maintaining a regular prayer life. He is my human Bible. If I have a question or need to know where a verse is he usually has the answer (except for the really hard questions that have no answer that we can know on this earth).

I struggle to read a chapter of the Bible a day. When I am involved in a Bible study that involves 5 days of homework. You will find me the day before trying to cram 3 lessons in at midnight. Of course I have some theories as to why I'm this way. One of my strongest theories/ arguments/ excuses involves a former church that crammed "quiet times" down my throat. Quiet times was the answer to every problem. Having marital problems? experiencing depression? Clearly, you have not been having your quiet times. I tried to beat myself into submission by force-feeding myself a regular a.m diet of Bible reading and prayer, despite the fact that I am not a morning person whatsoever. I was even told "No breakfast before Bible.". My pastor told me to "pray to be a morning person". I know they meant well but the people pleasing perfectionist in me did not respond to these teachings well. If I missed a quiet time I had so much guilt. It also kept me from dealing with serious problems, like my medical depression, as I tried my best to be more spiritual.

A few months away from this church and I started to spread my wings a little bit. I figured out that discipline and legalism does not equal growing intimate relationship with God. I decide to exercise my freedom in Christ and wait til I felt like having a quiet time. I wanted to incorporate music into my devotional times since God has given me that passion and that gift. Unfortunately the urge rarely strikes and too often I sing along with Christian music without a though to what I'm singing about. This also has proved to be an ineffective way to grow much in my relationship with God. So my resolution is to find the effective happy medium. If it exists.

Last resolution. Shorter blogs.

Happy New Year!