New Years Resolutions

I have a horrible track record of making and keeping New Years Resolutions. I gave up the practice a few years ago. I'm thinking about making a few this year. I will try to keep it simple to avoid a huge letdown should I fail, again. This probably isn't the best attitude going in.

I resolve to blog more often. There is a constant blogging dialogue going on in my head. I just never get around to publishing it. I have many theories as to why this is, but nothing concrete. I know I need to be less of a perfectionist and be unafraid to publish my random thoughts. I need to stop worrying about whether anyone will be amused, intrigued, inspired or entertained and just embrace putting myself out there. I know, I know, it's just a blog. Probably about 3 people read it. I think way too serious and way too much.

I also resolve to learn how to put links in my blogs. I need to link to my friends blogs and friends of friends blogs that I stalk (Scott told me I'm a stalker if I read the blogs but never comment.). I'm comfortable with my stalker status.

The most important and serious resolution I'm making is to spend more time reading my Bible and in prayer. I need a serious fire lit underneath me in this area. I have prayed so many times for God to give me a hunger and a thirst for His word to no avail. I know I need to be obedient and follow through on this resolution to see results.

From the time my mother became a Christian she has been like a woman consumed. I am jealous of her zeal. She reads the Bible on a regular basis, listens to sermons on the radio and t.v. She joins every Bible Study that her schedule allows and reads a couple of other Christian books for good measure. I'm not sure I want to be that extreme, especially considering some of the t.v. preachers. I must note she does all of this out of a hunger for knowing more about God and consumes these resources with great joy and wise discernment.

My husband also devotes himself to studying the Bible and maintaining a regular prayer life. He is my human Bible. If I have a question or need to know where a verse is he usually has the answer (except for the really hard questions that have no answer that we can know on this earth).

I struggle to read a chapter of the Bible a day. When I am involved in a Bible study that involves 5 days of homework. You will find me the day before trying to cram 3 lessons in at midnight. Of course I have some theories as to why I'm this way. One of my strongest theories/ arguments/ excuses involves a former church that crammed "quiet times" down my throat. Quiet times was the answer to every problem. Having marital problems? experiencing depression? Clearly, you have not been having your quiet times. I tried to beat myself into submission by force-feeding myself a regular a.m diet of Bible reading and prayer, despite the fact that I am not a morning person whatsoever. I was even told "No breakfast before Bible.". My pastor told me to "pray to be a morning person". I know they meant well but the people pleasing perfectionist in me did not respond to these teachings well. If I missed a quiet time I had so much guilt. It also kept me from dealing with serious problems, like my medical depression, as I tried my best to be more spiritual.

A few months away from this church and I started to spread my wings a little bit. I figured out that discipline and legalism does not equal growing intimate relationship with God. I decide to exercise my freedom in Christ and wait til I felt like having a quiet time. I wanted to incorporate music into my devotional times since God has given me that passion and that gift. Unfortunately the urge rarely strikes and too often I sing along with Christian music without a though to what I'm singing about. This also has proved to be an ineffective way to grow much in my relationship with God. So my resolution is to find the effective happy medium. If it exists.

Last resolution. Shorter blogs.

Happy New Year!