darkness

where can i go to give up, to resign from this life?

my dr.'s tell me to reduce stress but right now every breath, every thought is stress and pain.

there is no relief.

i desperately want to die but please don't freak out because it's not the same as being suicidal. i just wish God would be merciful and take me out. i make jokes about it but i seriously wish for it.

i called in sick to work today. i feel like such a failure. i worry too much what others think of me.

i feel so alone but if you call me i probably won't answer the phone.

jason is taking care of me. if it weren't for him and God I would already be dead.