Malicious Blessings

I love the south. I also love the north, west and east. They all have their distinct personalities and traits and I enjoy the diversity. The south holds a special place in my heart because of my family’s roots there and the time we spent living in Knoxville,TN.

One of my favorite southern things is the accents and dialect. There was a variety in Knoxville from the lite sweet southern belle accent to the thick country bumpkin accent that was hard for us city folk to understand. I didn’t realize how much I’d picked up the accent until a high school friend from Cincinnati pointed it out. I definitely started using southern expressions such as y’all but I drew the line at you’uns and we’uns. There is one sweet expression I liked but never said out loud because It always felt awkward and foreign on my tongue. “Well bless your/his/her/their heart(s)!” It’s kind, compassionate and sympathetic. It sounds better than “poor thing” or “how awful” but I met a group of women that ruined the phrase for me.

I sold Pampered Chef for several years and truly enjoyed it. I attended a national conference in Chicago with a group of ladies from Knoxville I had never met . The ladies I flew with were different than most of the women I was friends with. They had different priorities and values than I was used to and I felt small, young and out of place around them. I was definitely an outsider and no one made an effort to make me feel otherwise.

The running joke for the week with them became this: when someone says “bless their heart” they really mean “stupid idiot”. They thought this was absolutely HILARIOUS! I thought it was harsh and rude. I can’t deny that I’ve thought people were stupid idiots before (who hasn’t?), sometimes on a daily basis, but I know that God doesn’t see people that way and ideally I pray to see them as He sees them. It often takes lots of confession and prayer for help and processing time to come around to forgiveness and compassion but I have to try. Before I became a Christian I was unapologetically a snotty, malicious gossip. I can’t judge those ladies because that would make me a hypocrite.

We had an evening flight so they wanted to spend their last day in Chicago shopping. I like to browse but don’t usually have much money to spend. They were all about maxing out the credit cards on the hottest name brands. It was fascinating to watch. I finally found a board game I wanted to purchase at the F.A.O. Schwartz toy store but when I went to get my credit card it was missing, along with my license! I could’ve sworn I had them with me and was terrified that they were lost or stolen. I had a flight to catch that night and I couldn’t get on the plane without my license. I was just sick over it and couldn’t enjoy the rest of the day. I was in constant prayer “please God, please God, please God”

Now I never heard anyone say it but I knew they HAD to be snickering “bless her heart” behind my back every chance they got. I mean, it was the perfect opportunity. It fit in great with their running joke of the week. I was the poster child for their cruel joke. Now, they were clearly not my friends and probably never would be, but, I’m supersensitive and it hurt. Another gal and I took the subway back to the hotel earlier than anyone else. I quickly went thru my carry on and found my license and credit card. I was so, so ecstatic, relieved and thankful.

I feel sad for those ladies really. How can you trust any of them to be your true friend? This experience made me treasure my friends more than ever. A true friend is a rare and beautiful gift and I am blessed to have many. I hope those ladies experience the blessing of true friendship in their lives and that they can be a blessing to others. I can pray with all sincerity, may God bless them and their hearts.